Value Your Friendships

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art...It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C. S. Lewis

Me, Julia & Chan

Whether you have a ton of friends or you can count all of them on one hand, it is very easy to take advantage of people you feel close to. There may even be times when you expect certain people in your life to do things for you with no questions asked...but do you know who your friends really are? Are you showing them what they mean to you every now and then?

Recently, I have been observing just how much people easily take advantage of their so-called "friends."  In school, I have observed friendship break apart because on person wouldn't allow the other to copy the homework assignment they were supposed to do.  At work, I've seen people get upset if their co-worker friend didn't log them in back from break.  Even now, as an almost 30 year old adult, I've seen middle aged people go crazy because their friends couldn't pick them up or drop them off at home.  The value of friendship diminishes with each demand, special request and expectation made on the other.

Friendships is a great foundation of any relationship.  In order to ensure that you are putting quality value to your friendships, here are a few tips to remember:

1) Always say "please" and "thank you."

Sure, you may expect your friend to do things for you without question, but demanding is completely different from asking.  When you request your friend to drop you off at home, a simple "please" can make a difference.  Even if you ask every day for them to do so and they are used to it, dropping you off at home will become less of a burden to them.  And, whenever they do you a favor, remember to say "thank you" and show your appreciation.

2) Make time for your friend.

I am lucky to see my best friend in a month, but no matter what, I will make time for her -- even if it means sending a message or being online.  If she is in trouble or badly needs to talk, I will wake up early or go home late just so we can talk.  Being there for your friend, not just when things are really bad or really good, will help solidify the bond you already have.  This means spending some one on one time together -- without significant others.

3) Protect your friend.

Even if it means you have to get into an ugly argument, protect your friend.  If you know that he or she is doing something wrong, something that may hurt their self (physically or emotionally), let that your friend know.  If people are talking about your friend or pick on them, stand up for him or her.  A true friend will see your true intentions, even if it takes a little while, and will be grateful for what you do.  Make sure that you act the way you'd want your friend to act towards you.

Me, Diane & Ish

My best friends all live in different parts of the world.  I have two in the US (in two different states), one in the UK, and fortunately, one here with me in the Philippines.  In spite of the distance, the rare times we get to talk or even email each other online, and the occasional meetup, I know that they will be there to give advice or just lend an ear.