7 Essential Steps to Coping with a Breakup

How would you cope with a break up?

"Pain is inevitable.  Suffereing is optional." - M. Kathleen Casey

It is hard to follow advice on coping with a breakup.  Severing a relationship is never an easy thing to do.  You want to cry, shout, argue, or cut all communications to avoid the hurt.  But the fact is, trying to avoid what your feeling is never going to help you get over it.  In fact, it may even damage the next relationship you have.  If you really want to learn to deal with your unfortunate situation, then take these seven tips into consideration.

1)  “Time heals all wounds.”  

This quote has been said a thousand times over, but it is the truth.  Give yourself time to accept the end and react to the loss.  Cry if you must.  After all, if you don’t feel any hurt with the breakup you are experiencing, can you really say you actually loved the person in the beginning?  Feeling the pain is what makes us human, and although this is easier said than done, you need to face your fear in order to move on.  Grieving your loss is definitely going to help you heal.

2) Evaluate the situation.  

A breakup would never occur just out of the blue.  There truly was a reason as to why you and your partner broke up.  Was one person feeling neglected by the other?  Was one abusing the other in any way?  Think about the reasons that could have led to the break up in order to understand why it happened.

3) Evaluate your worth.  

Let’s face it.  In any breakup, both parties are at fault to some degree.  If you happen to be on the bad end of the deal, then think about how much you are really worth.  Was your partner always belittling you? Did your partner humiliate you in public?  Or could your partner have been so jealous over little things and making you feel guilty for nothing?  When you think about how your relationship truly was, you need to understand just how much you are willing to take.  Do you really want to continue being treated like nothing?

4) Reach out to your friends and family.  

A really great advice for dealing with the end of a relationship is to reconnect with your friends or family.  The ones closest to you, especially before your partner ever stepped into your life, are the ones you want to keep around you.  This will give you back a part of yourself that you could have lost while in the relationship with your ex.  It will also allow you to divert your attention to more important people.  Learning to get over someone and the relationship you had is not easy, but your friends and family can certainly help ease the pain and quicken the pace.

5) Do things that make you happy.  

Most of the time, when a person is involved in a relationship, they feel obligated not to do the things they want to do without their partners.  Think about it.  Did you ever want to take ballroom dancing lessons but your ex didn’t?  Or did you want to try the new Indian restaurant near your apartment, but your ex claims it isn’t good?  If you really want to learn how to cope with a breakup, do the things that make you happy.  Go for the things you couldn’t or wouldn’t do because your partner didn’t want you to.  This is also a great way to meet new people!

6) Another helpful advice is to get active.  

No man or woman is going to be attracted to a hot mess.  While your ex may no longer be in the running for your heart, you still want someone to see you for how great you are.  Take time to start exercising again.  Go on a hiking trip with your buddies.  Not only will this help you, but it will also increase your energy to explore the world while staying fit.

7) Get rid of the past.  

Your relationship is over, and there’s no need to hold on to the things that make it sentimental to just hurt you.  Do you have an old t-shirt your ex used to love on you?  Toss it out or donate it!  Is there still a picture of you two in your wallet?  Lock it in a box and throw away the keep.  Help yourself get over him, and you’ll definitely realize that coping with a breakup is possible.